I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
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and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
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He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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