there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize