Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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