did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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