As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
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I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
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Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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