I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize