I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
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I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
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Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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