so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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