I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
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he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
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came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I need water and some morals
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