Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
he was CRYING into my vagina
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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