Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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