tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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