You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize