So drunk its hurt
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
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