I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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