So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize