I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize