I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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