Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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