i may or may not be watching the land before time
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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