After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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