you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize