I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize