I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
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If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
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You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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