I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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