I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize