my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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