The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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