we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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