whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
When are your genitals available?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize