If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
ttyl tear gas
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize