I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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