My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
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