do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize