i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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