dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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