I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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