last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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