my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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