you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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