Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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