So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
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On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
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He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize