Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Enjoy the penises
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize