i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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