i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize