his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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