I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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