Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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