Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
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I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
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So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize