Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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